Love rugby? Love a great pun?
Have a good laugh with these best rugby puns that I’ve collected over the years.
Rugby Chicken Puns
You can’t beat a great chicken pun. Let’s start with the classic:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the rugby pitch?
A: To get to the other sideline.
No, wait! They get better!
Q: Why did the referee send the chicken to the sin bin?
A: For fowl play.
Q: How do hens support their home rugby team?
A: They egg on the players.
That’s enough rugby chicken puns! Let’s try some other species…
Bees, Flies, And Grasshoppers
Q: What did the bumble bee say after he touched the ball down under the posts?
A: Hive scored.
Q: I heard your brother joined Wasps this season. How’s he getting on?
A: Unfortunately, he’s only made the Bee team.
Q: Why don’t grasshoppers play rugby?
A: They prefer cricket!
I’ve been coaching a team of flies in the kitchen. Last week, they arrived at the sugar bowl and beat the local team of ants.
I gathered the lads together and said: “well done, lads. Next week, you’re playing in the cup.”
Things That Go Bump In The Night
Q: Why was the tiny ghost recruited to the rugby team?
A: The coaches wanted a little team spirit.
Q: Where did the headless horseman score his best try?
A: Under the ghoul posts!
Q: How was Scrooge able to score a try in the corner?
A: The ghost of Christmas passed…
Puns For Rugby Coaches
Q: What did the rugby coach do when the pitch became flooded?
A: He sent on his subs.
The new winger drops every ball that comes his way but I still call him our wonder player. Every time he plays, I wonder why I picked him.
Going on tour
When our best player arrived late for club training, the coach was apoplectic.
He yelled: “just because you’re the top try-scorer in the tournament, you don’t get to skip the morning drills.”
The player raised his hands in confusion. “But coach! Warren Gatland phoned me last night to say I’d been picked for the lie-ins.”
At The Match
When you’ve seen one of those times that rugby players bunch together, then you’ve seen a maul.
I was shivering with cold all the way through the big match. I was surrounded by so many fans.
Q: What do a rugby match and a Playstation 4 have in common?
A: Loud fans.
When my brother goes to England matches, he likes to play pranks on all his friends. He loves Twickenham.
Pen Rugby Club travelled across town for the derby match against Pencil Rugby Club. It ended in a draw.
Our second-choice prop isn’t very good but we call him the judge. He’s always sitting on the bench.
Star Wars Rugby Puns
Luke Skywalker was keen to go to the match between the Wookies and the Ewoks in outer space. But Princess Leia told him that there wouldn’t be any atmosphere.
What Australian rugby team do the Jedi play for? The Force.
Why does Yoda suck at coaching rugby? Because this is his favourite team talk: “Do or do not. There is no try.”
The First Order’s team score a lot of tries from the lineout. Their coach is Darth Maul.
A Rugby Pun For Your Dad
Paul McCartney got a phone call from Hollywood to be a guest on a big talk show. His agent was aghast when the ex-Beatle said no.
“Why on earth wouldn’t you go?” his agent asked.
McCartney pointed at the calendar where he had circled the day of England’s opening match in the Six Nations.
“It’s Ellen or rugby.”
Want More Puns And Jokes?
We have whole book full of them!
Love a good laugh? Check out our book of Best Rugby Jokes on Amazon – a hilarious collection of quips, jokes, and one liners.
We also collect jokes from around the world. Are you from one of those places on our list?