These are great jokes that are suitable for kids of all ages who love rugby.
The kids want jokes about dinosaurs playing rugby? And centipedes on the wing? Read on…
Animal Rugby Jokes
Q: How do you stop squirrels from playing rugby in your garden?
A: All you have to do is hide the ball. It drives them nuts!
Did you hear about the pig who got a red card? He was playing dirty.
I heard that the leopards challenged all the other big cats to a rugby match and won the match by kicking ten penalties.
There were too many cheetahs on the other side!
You didn’t know that elephants play rugby?
Q: What do you do when you see an elephant carrying a rugby ball?
A: Get out of the way.
Q: What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squelch?
A: An elephant wearing wet rugby boots.
Did you hear about the match between the elephants and the insects?
A team of elephants was playing a team of insects and were winning by thirty points.
At halftime, the coach of the insects team put Billy the Centipede on a substitute winger. Billy was brilliant at sidestepping and scored ten tries.
The coaches shook hands after the match, and the elephants coach shook his head. “That substitute winger was incredible. Why didn’t you play him from the start?”
The insects coach shrugged sadly. “I wish I could. But it takes him 40 minutes to put on his boots.”
You need to sing this one
I heard that the lions of Kenya put a rugby team together and traveled to South Africa to play three matches.
How did they get on?
Great! A win away, a win away, a win away. [The song is “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”].
Rugby Chicken Jokes
Q: Why did the chicken rugby player walk across the field?
A: To get to the other sideline.
Q: Why did the referee give a yellow card to the chicken?
A: For fowl play.
Q: How are scrambled eggs like a losing rugby team?
A: They’ve both been beaten.
Q: How did the hens support their favorite rugby team?
A: They egged them on from the sidelines.
Rugby Dinosaur Jokes
Q: What is it called when a tyrannosaurus gets over the line for a try?
Q: A dino-score.
Q: Why aren’t velociraptors good at rugby?
A: Because they’re extinct.
Q: Which dinosaurs are the best flyhalves?
Q: Triceratops. Because they always kick three points.
Creepy-Crawlies
Q: What did the bumble bee say after he got over the line for a try?
A: Hive scored.
Q: Why do grasshoppers refuse to watch rugby?
A: They prefer cricket!
Q: What has 30 legs and goes crunch, crunch, crunch?
A: A rugby team eating crisps.
I was watching a team of flies play rugby in a sugar bowl, but they kept dropping the lump of sugar.
I said “lads, you’ll have to play better next week. You’ll be playing in the cup!”
Ghosts And Ghoulies
Q: Why was the smallest ghost in town asked to join the rugby team?
A: The coach felt they needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the big rugby match?
A: Because he had no body to go with.
Q: Where is a ghost’s favorite spot on a rugby field?
A: Under the ghoul posts!
Books And Fairy Tales
Q: Why did the coach drop Cinderella from the team?
A: Because she kept running away from the ball.
Q: Why did Cinderella stop getting better at rugby?
A: Her coach had turned into a pumpkin.
Q: How did Scrooge manage to score the winning try?
A: The ghost of Christmas passed…
Q: What would you get if you crossed a rugby player and the Invisible Man?
A: Rugby like no one has ever seen.
Q: What position does the Invisible Man play?
A: Nobody knows.
Little monsters
The mother monster was getting annoyed by all her monster children running around her feet.
She told them to go out and play rugby with their little brother.
The oldest kid sighed. “Aww, mum, can’t we play with a real ball instead?”
Rugby Zingers
I thought I might do well in my rugby history test. But I didn’t pass!
I just can’t get into American football. They rugby the wrong way.
Of all rugby players, I admire locks the most. They really are people to look up to.
Quick Rugby Jokes For Kids
Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!
Q: What do you call a boat full of polite rugby players?
A: A good sportsman-ship.
Q: What did the rugby coach do when the pitch became flooded?
A: He sent on his subs.
I went to watch a match recently, and it was freezing. Must have been all the fans.
Q: What runs along the edge of the pitch but never moves?
A: The sideline.
Q: What did the ball say to the flyhalf?
A: I get a kick out of you.
Q: What do you call an unbelievable story about a second row?
A: A tall tale.
Q: What does a rugby match and a Playstation 4 have in common?
A: Loud fans.
Q: What player can jump higher than the goalposts?
Q: All of them. Goalposts can’t jump!
Q: What’s the difference between the Prince of Wales and a rugby ball at a line out?
A: One is the heir to the throne. The other is thrown into the air.
Q: What part of a rugby club is never the same?
A: The changing rooms.
Q: Doctor, I can’t get my socks off. Do I need an operation?
A: Try taking your boots off first.
The National Team
The coach of the national team gathered the squad together after they lost five matches in a row.
“Lads, I know what the problem is. You always start playing badly at the same point in every match.”
The captain was relieved that the coach had figured it out. “When is it, coach?”, he asked.
The coach shook his head sadly. “Right after the national anthem.”
The Star Player
Our expensive new signing isn’t doing well, but I still call him our wonder player.
Every time he plays, I wonder why we signed him.
The Interview After The Match
Reporter: you’ve got so much better this season. Last year you won five matches. This season, it’s twelve. What’s the difference?
Player: Emm. Seven?
British And Irish Lions
When the star player arrived late for club training, the coach marched up to him with an angry face:
The coach said, “just because you’re playing so well for England, it doesn’t mean you can skip morning training.”
But the player figured he’d done nothing wrong. “Warren Gatland called me yesterday and said I’d been picked for the lie-ins.”